Finding Myself Again
You can also read this story on Medium. It is April of 2020. It is, I’m frequently reminded by social media, autism awareness month, autistic acceptance month, or even autistic advocacy month, depending upon who you ask. Every year for the past three years that this month has rolled around - ever since I found out I was autistic - I feel a sense of gnawing, dread, and nervous excitement. I feel a vague uncertainty, a hesitancy. I feel I must have something to say on the matter: I am autistic after all, and tons of advocates are making blog posts, writing informative material, selling T-shirts to support the cause, raising awareness for identity-first language and getting rid of functioning labels, and are directing people to autistic-centered organizations. All good stuff. But when I try to think of a way I can contribute, my mind goes blank. I feel as though I’m at a distinct disadvantage, that this signals a lack of courage or not knowing enough about my own community, as